Cold
by GillianSwiftie
Summary: "It's so hot but I feel so cold" Written for 7DOVP. Eating disorders & Self harm. Bade. Dark fic.


Written for 7 Days Of Victorious prompts.

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**BUT I FEEL SO COLD**

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She didn't give him one look, she just ran. One thing she didn't need as an addition to her life right now was him. School was a handful, home was a handful and she didn't want her social life to be a handful. Actually she didn't want a social life anyway. She might as well hide from the world in a tiny corner where no one could ever find her. The only problem was she hated corners, ironic isn't it. As she ran, her mind spun with what could be, what he could be and what she could be. Her mind couldn't help but imagine his arms wrapping around her and his lips on hers, the way he smiled and the way he made her smile. Wait what?

"Jade?" She was shaken out of her daydream.

"Did you say something?" She asked drearily looking up this person.

"Yes, are you ok?" She looked at him in confusion. Andre. She was on the floor, what?

"You hit your head pretty hard West" André said offering a sympathetic hand up, she scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"I don't need your help" Jade stood up turned on her heel and stormed away. She left her dark skinned friend in the abandoned school halls and tried it block his face from her mind. Then as she turned the corner, school bad boy Ryder Daniels tripped her into his arms.

"It's the middle of summer Jade, why you wearing long sleeves?" He asked bringing her face close to his. "Why are you wearing any clothes at all" She rolled her eyes.

"Get your dirty hands off me before I turn your dealer into the cops" She threatened. He let her go in an instant.

"Damn baby, kitten is all claws today" He sauntered away and left her alone once again. She rolls her eyes and continues down the hall.

"Date the asshole once and you're suddenly his sex toy for life" She looks down at her tight black dress, combat boots and ripped tights. "Poor Vega."

That's when she runs into his once again that day. At lunch in the Asphalt Cafe as she screamed at Festus for giving her a chicken wrap that had gluten in it. Does he not know she's allergic? Her lips started to swell up and she had trouble breathing. He took her to the nurse ignoring her demands of decline. He held her in his arms while the nurse stuck a needle in her arm, but Jade still didn't care for him. When they got back to the table, she stayed her cold, sadistic self. Not once did she let down her guard she didn't not feel empathy or sympathy as her so called friends did.

In gym they laughed. All of them. At times she wished he was there to stand up for her because no matter how strong and resilient Jade West seemed, she could never stand up to tens of people who pointed out her flaws and insecurities.

"Fat" they taunted. "Slut" and "Whore" So she hid in a stall door and created red lines down her thighs. Then Crimson blood poured from the veins on her arms. She still felt cold.

Not even sweet and loving Cat understood when she looked at Jades body and watched her get thinner and thinner everyday. She figured it was Jades new diet, she saw Jade eat, salads and burgers and then turn up late for class. Didn't think twice about it. She saw Jade get more and more distant. Colder and colder by the day.

Tori had an idea when she saw Jade in the same outfit everyday. Skirts, boots that went up to her knees, tights and shirts with long sleeves. Andre agreed and so did Robbie they should try to help but they got pushed away as did Cat. As did everyone. Jade was alone again.

They left her a place to sit in each class and a seat at lunch every day. She just walked away time and time again. She distanced herself, she never got close to anyone. Because love means falling and she's afraid of heights. She's afraid of everything now but she's more afraid of being weak so she stays away from society.

When it's time for the funeral, she needs some emotional support but no one cared anymore and lost herself completely. For a week she doesn't go to school, everyone notices it but no one seems to care. She's a part of their lives as much as their a part of hers. When she watches them lower her mothers body into the ground rain pours from the sky and she knows it's pouring for her. In the middle of a heated summer the sky turns grey and it's suddenly spitting rain. So she stands alone as the man lowers the lost soul into the ground. Everyone has left but Jade stood alone. It was so hot but she felt so cold.

One night he stands on her doorstep and he rings the broken doorbell, she opens the door and stares at him emotionlessly. For that's how she does everything these days, emotionlessly.

"Jade we need to talk-"

"Talk about what Beck?" She interrupts. "There's nothing left to say"

"You're dying Jade"

"I'm not dying for gods sake" She snaps.

"You are. On the inside. I'd be blind not to see it"

"I'm fine"

"I want to help you"

"You can't help me" she yelled. "I lost my mother and I lost everything, we can barely afford food at the minute. I have been starving myself for the past month and I can't take away this pain"

"I can help you" He said. She looked him in the eye and laughed dryly.

"How?" She simply asked

"I can love you" Jade just rolled her eyes.

"You can't love someone as broken as I am"

"Jade, you aren't broken" he told her softly. "I'm here, I love you and I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long. I'll stay with you. There nothing in this world I love more than you and I can't bare to lose you" That's when she fell into his arms, overcome by tears. And he kissed her hair and stroked her cheek.

"Oh Beck" she cried. "It's so hot but I feel so cold."

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